One of the main dividers of moms is the staying at home vs. working debate. Everyone has their opinions and often argue over it. I know that it is not all moms, but enough that I see it happen quite often and h00ve tried to stop the arguments in the past. Both sides say that what they do is more difficult. But we shouldn’t be arguing amongst ourselves. Whether you work or stay at home we are all still moms and should be offering each other support and kind words.
I have done both, and I can say both are extremely hard and taxing. I hate when I see people making a mom feel bad because she works, or because she stays at home. As a working mom I had to leave my kids for 10+ hours per day, 5-6 days per week (I worked as a manager of sorts at a restaurant). It was hard, every time I left my daughter would break down screaming. It was extremely difficult. Not to mention that when I got home it wasn’t like I had time to relax. Either I got home at 1 am and knew I had to do a little cleaning and go to bed since I had to be up in 5 hours, or I got home at 4 and had to cook dinner, play, clean, do everything. I had to leave at family gatherings and on holidays because I had to go to work. I missed a lot, including my youngest taking her first steps.
Then, my fiancé got a better job so I was able to leave my job and stay home. Mostly because the money I was making would basically only pay for childcare so it just wasn’t worth it to us. I love it. I’m always here for my kids, I’m the one who kisses their boo boo’s, I witness all their firsts, I’m the mean one who they don’t like (which is actually pretty cool), I am the one they cry for. But it’s demanding. Nonstop. I get barely any time to myself, and that time is usually spent cleaning because man they are like little tornadoes. Then I have my fiancé to take care of and he is just like a grown baby. I wake up 2-5 times every night with the baby because I don’t go to work the next day. I get beat up, screamed at, bit, punched, etc. But I do love staying home with them. The positives mostly outweigh the negatives.
So which is more difficult? I find them to be equally as hard but for different reasons. Either way you really don’t get alone time or time to relax. I just wish people would stop arguing and come together as people and as moms to see the beauty in the chaos.